FAMILY TIES

Two little boys, brothers; one six years old, a well behaved, cuddly, trusting child that is easy to love. His brother is eight, already protective over his little brother and eager to be praised and loved himself. They make up their own little family as their older sister has been adopted and their parents were lost in their own lives. Each family member jumped off a sinking ship; the parents swam away, the sister grabbed by a lifeboat into the loving arms of new parents, while the two brothers clung to one another on a floating piece of the wreckage.

However along the journey in the ocean of Ontario's foster care system these two brothers fared differently the younger remained innocent, worried about his brother who while being as hyperactive as his brother grew angrier. He became difficult and his temper raised a tempest where ever they went whether it came in the form of words or fists it would leave an impression.

While his brother found love in the parents that adopted his sister the older brother struggled. You see the problem was while the younger brother drew people towards himself the older pushed them away except for his brother who he often protected with anger and violence. Eventually the younger brother was adopted leaving the elder to facing the idea that he was incapable of being loved, that he could never be good enough. Rejected by the people that are supposed to protect a child from all the hurt in the world-- his parents and the life raft that came to save him from the harsh cold ocean of life. The brother was left feeling alone and too bad to be loved or worthy of it.

The difficulty with this story although there are many is that the system failed, a child may have all the basic material necessities of live covered and may have a caring foster family but the hurt that lives on in knowing he is never good enough, that he is unlovable is where the true failure comes in. Families should never have to be split apart because the adoptive parents feel they can play God and destroy an already war ravaged family. Understandably children can be incredibly difficult but by merely judging them on their capacity to be bad and hard to handle we miss out on their incredible capacity to love, to hope and to grow into the best people they can be.